Social Work Diversity

This I Believe

2008-05-04T23:09:00.004-05:00

I believe in the power of good list.

I believe in a creator of the universe (most of the time).
I believe that God's grace alone will get me into Heaven (if there is a heaven, and if there is a god, and if this is something I should worry about).
I believe that my family loves me.
I believe in honesty. It's hard, but it's worth it.
I believe that kids can do magic tricks.
I believe that it's okay to feel broken.
I believe that everything will be okay.
I believe that I am worth it.
I believe that people can speak in tongues.
I believe that people can talk to the dead.
I believe in haunted houses and ghost stories.
I believe in psychics.
I believe that everyone deserves an education and a roof over their head and food and health care.
I believe in forgiveness. It's hard, but it's worth it.
I believe that all relationships will be made right in Heaven (if there is a heaven, and if there is a god, and if this is something I should worry about).
I believe that sex is something that is very special.
I believe that being able to make good margaritas and good chocolate chip cookies and good spaghetti sauce is very important.
I believe that there might not be anything more important than family.
I believe that you can learn from bad relationships.
I believe that you can learn from good relationships.
I believe that you should learn. You should question and grow and recognize how much you don't know. And learn. Try to learn.
I believe that you should let people know how much they mean to you.
I believe that sons shouldn't be afraid to tell their mothers, "I love you," even if they're around a group of friends.
I believe that you shouldn't judge someone. You don't really know them after all.
I believe in doing the right thing.
I believe in only spending time with people who make you feel good.
I believe in skinny walkers, Navajo spirits.
I believe that I can be joyful one day. And sooner, rather than later.
I believe in the power of human contact.
I believe that prayer can help. I don't know if God cares about our prayers, but I think it helps us acquiesce our will to God's.
I believe in a lot of people. I see their souls through their eyes, and I see potential, and I see good.
I believe in myself (sometimes).

On Being Single

2008-05-04T22:34:00.002-05:00

What does this mean to me?

Like being 22 and being female, I have conflicting thoughts about this category. This box I check. I sort of like saying that I'm single. It sounds so free and independent, you know? "I'm Cara. I'm 22 and single. Look out, world; here I come." And some days I feel free and independent. Some days I feel lonely, though.

I used to think that I shouldn't desire being in a relationship. That that made me weaker somehow. That I should feel completely content with my friends and family and God. Part of me still feels this way and feels guilty when I feel lonely. But I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I do have a desire to get married one day, and before getting married I'd like to be in a relationship or two or seven. I'm trying to be honest about the things that make me happy. These things include but are not limited to:

watching my favorite television shows whilst lying in bed
a great milkshake
a great concert
yoga
having a good hair day
finding a great item at a thrift store
reading a great book
feeling loved and supported by my friends and family
being proud of the person I am
making good grades
having a boy that adores me

There, I said it. It makes me happy to know that there is a boy or man that likes me and cares about me. It makes me happy to be in a positive, healthy relationship. It's also not that bad being single, though. Especially when you're 22 and you're about to take on the world.

On Being Female

2008-05-04T22:17:00.002-05:00

What does this mean to me?

So many thoughts come to mind when I think about being female. At times I joke about wanting to be male. I'd love to not shave my legs (and often times I don't). I'd love to feel like I could go camping by myself and feel completely safe. I don't like the drama that seems to run around with female circles. But mostly I love being a woman.

I love the shape of the female body. I love that I will be able to carry my future children inside my body. I love the depth of my emotions. Being a woman isn't easy, though. I hear conflicting messages from society and church. I have conflicting messages within me.

I hear: "You are woman. You are strong. You can work like man. Anything he can do you can do just as well, better even. Focus on your career. Focus on your goals." I hear: "You are woman. You are to be subservient. You shouldn't work like man, but stay at home. You are made to do different things - be a mother, be a housekeeper. Focus on the home. Focus on serving your family." And the thing is I believe both voices. How can I, a liberal-minded social worker, an intelligent person with career goals and aspirations, believe both voices? I don't know how to answer that question, but I do know that both voices are competing within me.

I feel strong and weak at the same time. I am one of the strongest people I know. I am proud of the strength that I have. I am also frail and desire for a man to care for me. I want to go on to do great things as a social worker. I want to really make a difference in the world, affect others. But some days I just want to be an incredible mom. Can I do both? Maybe, maybe not.

I am a woman, and to me this means being strong and beautiful and a mother and a lover and a servant and a leader and independent and adventurous and emotional and frail and human and divine. To me, this means a lot.

On Being 22

2008-05-04T22:01:00.003-05:00

What does this mean to me?

Oh Loretta she's a barroom girl
wears them sevens on her sleeve
Dances like a diamond shines
Tell me lies I love to believe
Her age is always 22
Her laughing eyes a hazel hue
Spends my money like water falls
Loves me like I want her to

-Townes Van Zandt

First of all, the above song comes to mind. I love being able to say that I'm 22. It's almost as fun as being able to say that I'm 21. It's young and old at the same time, but mostly young I suppose. Being 22 means that I can make mistakes because I'm still young and don't have life experience. It means I can ask questions about how to file my taxes and pay off loans. On the contrary, being 22 means that I have had life experiences. It means that I've traveled and had my heart broken and am about to have a diploma. It's this magical age where I can be both young and old. Most days I feel pretty young, though.

I wrote a blog entry in another blog a couple weeks ago about this feeling I have - this feeling of being an adult but not feeling ready to be an adult. A friend left a really great comment that I'd like to share here:

"I wonder if adulthood used to be a clearer sort of thing.

Nobody ever told me, "This is it. After this point, you have grown up and you are meant to be a person who can take care of things for himself."

I still feel, to a large degree, like a college student, to be totally honest. So never fear. All those people who seem to have it together, who seem to have grown up and become the sort of person you imagined your parents to be when you were small -

- they don't know what they're doing any more than you do. Nobody really grows up anymore, I don't think. Sad but true."

Is my friend right? Will I be stuck in this limbo phase forever? This limbo phase is okay for now; in fact, I like it. But I don't think this limbo phase will be okay when I'm say 28 or so.

On Being White

2008-05-04T15:53:00.003-05:00

What does this mean to me?

This means that I grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods. This means that I was part of the majority at my school. This means that everyone at church looked like me. This means that we listened to classic rock in the house and watched shows like The X-Files and Frasier.

Today this means that I live in a predominantly white residence hall. I am part of the majority at my school. Almost everyone at church looks like me. I listen to independent rock and folk music and watch shows like The Office and Arrested Development.

And I'm not that good at dancing, and I'm not that athletic. My friends told me about this blog: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/. I think it's great. As can be ascertained by its name, it is entirely dedicated to stuff white people like. Here I will make a list of topics written about that I like.

I like: scarves, free health care, music piracy, dinner parties, hating cooperations, multilingual children, musical comedy, threatening to move to Canada, study abroad, Michel Gondry, co-ed sports, recycling, bicycles, irony, vintage, sushi, indie music, Arrested Development, not having a TV, traveling, yoga, Wes Anderson movies, diversity, and farmer's markets. You can view the full list of stuff white people like here: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/.

Political Widget

2008-04-13T01:15:00.000-05:00

Diversity Via a Photo Search

2008-03-22T21:07:00.003-05:00

Boxes I Check

2008-03-07T23:59:00.004-06:00

White/Caucasian
18-24
Female
Single
Some college
>$10,000 a year
Employed
Christian - Protestant
Interested in: Men
Liberal

Have I thought about what all of this means? Yes, and no

More later.

International Banquet

2008-03-02T22:57:00.003-06:00

Last night I went to the international banquet with some residents. This was my second time to attend, and I recognized and knew many people there. This made me think about how fortunate I've been to experience diversity in different ways. Here are some experiences that come to mind.

For three years of high school and one year of college I spent four summers on a Navajo reservation in Utah.
My first roommate was from Guatemala.
I am fluent in Spanish.
I have taken enough classes to receive a minor in Latin American studies, but the minor is no longer offered.
I studied in Barcelona for a semester.
Before arriving in Barcelona I traveled through Amsterdam, Belgium, northern France, and Paris.
While in Spain, I traveled through northern and southern Spain.
I lived with a 62 year old woman from Barcelona; she was my senora, and I loved her.
Last summer I lived with girls from Vietnam, Bangladesh, and Cambodia.
I currently work with criminals with substance abuse problems. They come in all ages and colors, and I love them.
I am a member of TCU's Interfaith Council, have taken three Religion classes, and try to learn about different religions every chance I can.
I attended an interfaith conference at Princeton University my freshman year.
I attended an interfaith conference in Chicago last fall.
I went on an interfaith service and study trip to Chicago last spring break.
In Barcelona I volunteered with Moroccan Muslim immigrants, helping students with their school work.
I did a comparative analysis on Moroccan Muslim immigrants to Spain and Mexican immigrants to the United States.
I transcribed Dr. Jenkins' interviews with homosexual grandparents.
I was an intern with Teach For America in Philadelphia two summers ago and worked with an urban, impoverished middle school.

These are all the experiences that come to mind, and I am so grateful for them. I think it helps me to type them out. Sometimes I forget that not only have I had the classes, but I've also had the experiences. At the same time, I feel that I have so much more to experience and learn. I am constantly humbled by how much I do not know. Here's hoping that this list grows and grows over the years.

What comes to mind when you hear the word "diversity"?

2008-02-29T14:18:00.002-06:00

I want to know what you think.

Judgmental Christian

2008-02-23T18:55:00.004-06:00

Recently a friend told me she thought I was coming across as judgmental toward her lack of faith.

This broke my heart.
I'm sorry, friend. I never intended to be judgmental. Who am I to judge?

Making a Stand

2008-02-10T01:13:00.002-06:00

We were told to stand if we were in poverty growing up or in the working class or middle class or owning class. We could stand up for more than one category. I stood up when working class and middle class were called. But why did I not stand up for the other two?

Why did I not want to admit that times were hard sometimes? Was I afraid that people wouldn't believe me? Was I trying to protect my parents' reputations? Was I afraid that I didn't know what real poverty was like? Two unemployed parents, electricity being cut off. Does that constitute poverty? I don't remember missing a meal. I remember always having clothes to wear. We always had a place to live, and dad only lived out of his car for a little while.

And why didn't I admit to being a part of the owning class? Was it too long ago for me to remember? Did it not count if it was all taken away by the government or spent foolishly? Was it some sense of reverse pride? People respect you more the less you have, the more you have to work to go to a school like TCU.

I didn't want to make a stand for my childhood, for all those years of ups and downs. Let me make a stand for who I am today. I am a proud member of the working class. I have all I need and a little more. I work hard as an RA. My savings is pitiful. There, I can stand up to that.

What I Believe (Sometimes)

2008-02-10T00:02:00.000-06:00

I created my two-page handout based on reformed Christianity, or Calvinist thoughts. A lot of that theology makes sense to me, which is why I decided to write on it. But I don't know if I would say that I'm a reformed Christian. I don't know if I would say that I'm a Christian. I don't know if I would say that I'm a United Methodist or existentialist or agnostic or humanist. Some days I'm not sure if I believe in God. I don't really know how Jesus fits into everything. Here are the things that I believe most of the time, in no particular order, as they come to my head, as quick as my fingers can type them:

There is a good, sovereign, creator of this world.
I am not capable of good without this creator. Let's call him God, and let's use a masculine pronoun.
I don't see a lot of good when I look in my heart and when I look at the world around me.
I believe that God knows everything that I will do and everything that I have done.
If there is a Heaven, God and God alone will decide if I'm getting in. I guess this is grace. Maybe it's predestination. Mostly I think it's God being sovereign and me not having any idea what I could possibly do that would merit Heaven.
I believe God will give me the faith I need to believe in him. I can't even get the faith stuff right on my own.
Jesus had some pretty radical thoughts: the meek and peacemakers and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and those who are persecuted - these are the people who have things figured out. How different is that from what the world says?
I am happier when I try to be in a relationship with God.

I guess that's all that comes to mind right now. The Gospel according to Cara. That's a scary thought. I've struggled with what I believe for about four years now, and I have journals and notebooks to show for it. But does my life show my struggle? It's okay if it doesn't, I suppose.

Ask me what I believe tomorrow. Results may vary.

I don't think I've ever been discriminated against.

2008-02-06T21:44:00.000-06:00

How can I possibly understand what that feels like?

Egg Child

2008-01-31T18:04:00.000-06:00

"...second beginning of the world, the time after the universe turned upside down and the earth was flooded with water and everyone drowned except a brother and sister who married each other and had a child who looked like an egg, whom they hacked into small pieces."

-Anne Fadiman, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down

As I read, I highlight what resonates with me, what seems absurd, what seems familiar. This seems familiar. This seems absurd. Noah, were you real? Noah, are you just a bedtime story? Go to sleep, little babies; dream of the time many moons ago when God destroyed the world.

To Speak of All Kinds of Things

2008-01-31T17:56:00.000-06:00

The world is full of things that may not seem to be connected but actually are.
No event occurs in isolation.
You can miss a lot by sticking to the point.

I want to be that kind of storyteller.

Life-Souls

2008-01-28T22:53:00.000-06:00

The Hmong believe in a life-soul, "whose presence is necessary for health and happiness." The life-soul can become separated from its body through "anger, grief, fear, curiosity, or wanderlust" (Fadiman, 10).

Do all cultures believe in souls? This seems universal. From my Christian perspective I think of the soul as a part of me that existed before I was born and will exist after I die. Can I lose this spirit if I become enveloped in anger, grief, etc? I think I can, but I also think I can find my way back to my soul, and my soul can find its way back to me.

Does curiosity and wanderlust lead me astray, or does it bring me closer to who I really am, closer to my soul? I wonder why the Hmong culture counts curiosity and wanderlust with anger and grief. And, on that note, what's so bad about anger and grief and fear? These are healthy emotions.

Perhaps even healthy emotions with unhealthy intentions can cause us to lose part of who we are. Perhaps we're constantly losing and finding ourselves despite our best intentions, because of our best intentions.

Moaning and Screaming

2008-01-28T22:47:00.000-06:00

Mothers from the Hmong culture believe that moaning or screaming while giving birth thwart the birth, so they labor in silence.

What an introduction to the Hmong culture. I want to labor in silence, with the exception of an occasional prayer. Would I have respected the Hmong culture as much if they were introduced in the novel with an anecdote about their belief in dragons or losing their souls?

I want to stand at a point of tangency.

2008-01-28T22:42:00.000-06:00

"I have always felt that the action most worth watching is not at the center of things but where edges meet. I like shorelines, weather fronts, international borders. There are interesting frictions and incongruities in these places, and often, if you stand at the point of tangency, you can see both sides better than if you were in the middle of either one."

-Anne Fadiman, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall
Down

I'm not sure what all this means yet, but I think I want to stand at a point of tangency.